Why Me, Lord? A Meditation
Why, Lord, did you give me this father, this mother, this brother, this sister, this son, this daughter, this relative, this in-law, this person, this acquaintance, this alleged friend? Why did you do this to me? Why did you put them in my life? Why did you put me in their lives? I do not want them and they do not want me. Why? Why? Why?
Do you know what this person has done to me? Do you know how this person has hurt me? Do you know how this person has ignored me? Do you know what was said about me? Do you know what it is like to be with them? Do you know they hate me? Do you know I can’t stand them? Do you know what I feel, what I think when I am reminded of them? Are you aware of the hurt they have caused me? Do you know the pain I feel when I am forced to be near them again? If you know all this, then you understand why forgiveness is so difficult and why I pray for and long for your justice for them, why your mercy might be stretched to its divine limits in their cases. Can you please not let them injure, damage, and hurt me anymore?
My Child, my beloved Child whom I made full-of-wonder, while you were in your mother’s womb I knew you and had plans for you. Now, in your pain, you have thought of Me. Do you see that your questioning has made you turn to Me, I who truly am your Father ? I have not and never will make another person like you. I love you uniquely, like no one else because you are not like anyone else. I will never have the love I have for you for anyone else in all of human history. I know who you are and I know all your gifts because I am the Giver of all of them. I know what you can do because I made you to do it. And I want you to do this with Me.
I made you especially fashioned in My image and likeness to help Me bring these of My sheep to me, including the ones who bring you grief and pain. These are the sheep I have given to you, My sheep placed in your care. I have chosen you for each of these particular sheep as the best shepherd for each of them. In My wisdom, knowledge and love I know you are the best choice for each of them to bring them home safely and happily to Me.
I have gifted you with everything you need to shepherd My sheep and I will give you all the grace, power, love, strength, hope, knowledge, words, courage, peace, and steadfastness to care for them for Me.
You are so like My Son who strained under the burden of His shepherd’s job, My Son who was suffering for you when He asked me if I would make all the pain stop. He had to bring all these sheep to me: the ones who drove the nails into Him, the ones who pierced His side, the ones who crucified Him. You were one of them.
He remembered that He had promised me He would not lose even one of My sheep, and He would not lose you. And He was obedient to that promise. He chose to shepherd you.
It is not I, My Child, who will choose to let this cup pass from you. You must freely decide if you are going to drink it, to be my specially-commissioned shepherd for some of my special sheep. This is your cup to drink fully or to pour out. In this case, not My will imposed, but your will, freely chosen, be done.
In my love for you, please know that I, your Father, have also made for you shepherds who every day help you come to Me. When they ask me “why” about you, as you have about others, I tell them you are Mine. They choose over and over again to assist My Son who has suffered for you, died for you, and redeemed you.
And when one of the sheep you have led comes back to Me because of what you have done, then you too return to Me, to be with Me one day in Paradise.
