Like millions of Americans, I’ve become a “Duck Dynasty” fan. “Duck Dynasty,” as you surely are aware, is an A&E reality show that presents the Robertson clan, the long-bearded owners and operators of Duck Commander in West Monroe, La. Duck Commander hand-makes duck calls. The story is a rags-to-riches one. Phil Robertson, the patriarch of […]
I became upset when I got word. Jeep, reports Automotive News, is shifting its focus away from hearty off-road 4X4’s to, mostly, dinky little two-wheel-drive cars that ride smoothly on paved roads — the kind of cars Europeans like to drive. This is what happens when an iconic American brand is sold to a European […]
A Pencil’s Point Now is a good time to revisit the 1958 essay in which Leonard Read examined how a pencil is made — and how it is miraculous that a pencil is made at all. The standard pencil begins when a cedar is cut down. Ropes and gear tug it onto the bed of […]
I drove through my old neighborhood last week. It is like many suburban neighborhoods that sprouted up in the 1960s. Many of the people who moved there grew up in the city. All of them wanted big yards in which their kids could play. Many wanted to be near St. Germaine Catholic Church and its […]
I hate to say it, but ObamaCare has been good for me. Now, I know our economy is still struggling — Gallup says the unemployment rate just jumped to nearly 9 percent — and I know ObamaCare uncertainty is making many employers wary of hiring. But I also know that new opportunities exist for people […]
The name is Monday. Agent Monday. I have an important job to do. Back in 2011 President Obama issued an executive order to root out security violators within the federal government — people like Edward Snowden, our most recent leaker of government secrets. The president ordered federal employees to report suspicious activities among their co-workers […]
Even on the hottest nights of the summer, my father knew how to make our house ice cold. We lived in a modest two-story home typical of the ’60s and ’70s — red brick on the bottom, white aluminum siding on the top. There were four bedrooms upstairs and a master bedroom downstairs (my parent’s […]
I long for the sounds of summer I knew as a kid. In the ’60s and ’70s, you see, most of our neighbors kept their windows open day and night, allowing the outside sounds to come in and the inside sounds to go out. I woke every morning to the birds chirping outside my window […]
“Let’s go, he can’t hit, he can’t hit.” “Stop the game! How dare you suggest that the batter, an innocent 12-year-old child who only wants to make contact with the ball, cannot hit! Have you considered how your ridicule will harm his self-esteem? As the umpire of this game, I forbid you to utter such […]
I don’t know what President Obama was thinking. Speaking in Northern Ireland last week, he said Catholic schools are divisive: “If towns remain divided — if Catholics have their schools and buildings and Protestants have theirs, if we can’t see ourselves in one another and fear or resentment are allowed to harden —that too encourages […]
What to get for the contemporary male who has everything? The Man Bag. The Man Bag is a high-style satchel — a purse, though its creators hate when you call it that. It’s designed to hold the modern man’s wallet, keys, sunglasses, iPod, cell phone, body spray, hair goop, diary and whatever other junk he […]
Students, faculty, family members and friends, it is my great honor to deliver your commencement speech today. It is my opinion that our society must take every opportunity to praise our young people for their hard work and accomplishment, and that is why ceremonies such as this are so important to our country’s future. It […]
Bill Clinton, wearing a white toga and a crown of gold, sat in a garden while attractive women fed him grapes. President Obama, having just suffered the most devastating week of his presidency, sat nearby, seeking advice in the art of telling whoppers. Using the Socratic method of teaching, Clinton began to tutor his new […]
I don’t know who they are, but I’ve got to hand it to them. I’m too cynical to do what they do! I speak of the Americans who, every year, donate money to pay down America’s national debt. The Bureau of the Public Debt — part of the Treasury Department — began allowing such donations […]
Get this: Social media are making us ruder. According to Reuters, social media users face “an increase in rudeness online with people having no qualms about being less polite virtually than in person.” I think our rudeness began ticking up with the introduction of another technological innovation: the telephone. As phones became commonplace in American […]
Things are mighty heated these days. Tempers are flaring and minds are closed. Here’s the solution: the wit and wisdom of Will Rogers. “The short memory of voters is what keeps our politicians in office.” “We’ve got the best politicians that money can buy.” “A fool and his money are soon elected.” Rogers spoke these […]
The devil is in the details. Maybe I’d better explain. As it goes, the hit History Channel show, “The Bible,” was recently called out because the actor playing the part of Satan, Moroccan-born Mohamen Mehdi Ouazanni, looks eerily similar to President Obama. I don’t think Obama is the devil, but he surely has one characteristic […]
Springtime in Washington Ah, springtime has arrived in Washington, D.C. The National Cherry Blossom Festival is under way. The cherry trees, 3,700 of them given to America by the Japanese in 1912, are in full bloom. One incident involving the trees reminds me why Americans are so wary of Washington. In the spring of 1999, […]
Grocery Night Thursday night was grocery shopping night and the best night of the week. Right after dinner, my father and I would board our 1972 Plymouth Fury station wagon and head to the Del Farm grocery store. It was located in a small plaza one mile from our suburban home. Like all grocery stores […]
Income Tax 101 Ah, the income tax preparation season is upon us. You’re probably wondering why you have to spend a couple of weekends barricaded in a room, sorting through receipts in the faint hope of complying with our confusing income tax laws. The income tax first came to America in 1861. Americans paid it […]
“To follow you we were content, and grateful for the way we went.”
My Mother and Father School the Senate “All right,” said my mother, standing before the members of the U.S. Senate, “it’s time for you to get your act together.” “That’s right,” said my father. “You fools haven’t passed an annual budget in more than three years!” “What is this thing you call a ‘budget’?” said […]
Hey, pallie, what the heck happened to romance? I use the word “pallie” in deference to the great Dean Martin. A few summers ago, just before the annual Dean Martin Festival in Dino’s home town of Steubenville, Ohio, I decided to compare today’s hits with his. I started with the No. 1 song on Billboard […]
I’m turning into my father. My father was born in 1933. He was a paperboy in the days when paperboys stood on city corners and shouted “Extra!” In my father’s home, the newspaper still is king. He has two delivered daily. He reads every inch of both. He does the crossword puzzles in both, too […]
