Weekly Wits 2/8/13
by Cartoon Editor
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I’m turning into my father. My father was born in 1933. He was a paperboy in the days when paperboys stood on city corners and shouted “Extra!” In my father’s home, the newspaper still is king. He has two delivered daily. He reads every inch of both. He does the crossword puzzles in both, too […]
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Dutifully, Catholics go on the hunt each year for the highly coveted, purple and pink candle ensemble vital to any serious Advent Wreath. I’m eighty-seven percent sure that I buy a replacement set after Christmas in anticipation of the following liturgical season, proudly lauding myself for thinking ahead, taking advantage of the sale price, and […]
Here Comes the Boom is a very worthwhile film. It could even be seen as a definitive “teachers rock,” “save the school kids” film. Interestingly enough, another teacher/school film was just in theaters, Won’t Back Down, that beats the audience over the head with self-righteous, overbearing clichés (the trailer is just one cliché stitched to […]
Rugby is a game played by most boys in New Zealand in their childhood, though some don’t want to play it at all. A significant section of the community have always preferred to play a different sport, like soccer. But Rugby gets all the status in New Zealand, commanding all the respect. So much so […]
I’ve been a parent for a long time now, and I have heard many, many parents — in real life, in print, and on television — talk about their ultimate hopes for their children: “I just want my child to be happy.” “I want my child to be successful.” “I want my child to have […]
When our church had its annual fiesta, we stopped by and wandered over to the live entertainment. It was a cowboy with a long mustache and in full get-up doing rope tricks. At one point he asked for a volunteer and chose a boy. My seven-year-old daughter said to me, “I want to go up there.” […]
We had two cubic yards of dirt delivered and dumped next to our driveway. I immediately got to work with a shovel and wheelbarrow, transporting the dirt all the way around to the side of the house where I needed it. It was a hot day and tiring work. My seven and five-year-old daughters were […]
Talking to one of the 3rd graders one day, I asked him how his year was going. He said to me, “Oh, it’s going okay. I’ll be really glad when we’re done with fractions, though.” I shook my head understandingly, “Tough, huh?” Without missing a beat he said, “Well, not exactly, but they make my […]
We took our kids to a petting zoo where the highlight of the visit was the alpaca grazing area. There were several families with us looking over the fence. Then my six-year-old son, noticing a soccer ball in the middle of the field exclaimed, “I didn’t know alpacas played soccer!” There were laughs all around. […]
My two-year-old was beyond ready to get down from her high chair. As she was kicking her legs in protest of her confinement, she noticed one foot pop momentarily into view above her tray. Her yelling stopped. Slowly, she lifted her foot into view once more and said, “I seeeee youuuu!” View the original post […]
I am a cradle Catholic, but my family was not very good about going to confession regularly. It is possible that because my parish priest growing up was beyond liberal, my parents wanted me nowhere near him. Or maybe my liberal parish didn’t offer confession regularly. (The attached school made us say, “In the name […]
When I was a kid, I got in trouble almost daily. I often was sent home from school with notes from the teacher, informing my parents about my latest crimes. One day, I had to deliver a note to my parents from my fifth grade teacher that stated I was constantly disrupting her class and […]
My second oldest, Sebastian, always gets his older brother Ezra’s hand-me-downs. One day I was telling them that in heaven we won’t need our earthly bodies, but will get new heavenly bodies. Immediately, with a look of disgust, Sebastian said, “Am I just going to get Ezra’s old one?” -Drea, mother of 4.
My children were really amusing me. And I mean that with the utmost sarcasm. “Who’s coming over?” one asked. “No one,” I said. “Then why are you doing that?” “What do you mean? I do this all the time!” I said. “Oh, we’re having company?” chimed in another. “No!” I said firmly. “Yeah, right. Who […]
Do you know what it means to receive a consolation from the Lord? In the work of prayer for example, it is when you feel a deep sense of His presence. But even in our day-to-day lives we can receive consolations from the Lord. These come in the form of a perk, or a little […]