Joan from Ohio emailed: “Dear Karen, would you please consider writing about how to be frugal? You claimed in your book you’re ‘the most frugal person this side of the Mississippi’. Judging from your pictures on your website and Facebook, it doesn’t look like you’re sacrificing much at all! I need your advice on how […]
I was watching a conversation unfold on a friend’s Facebook wall about the typical daily details of having kids in elementary school. Wait wait, let me think….oh right! THOSE days! I remember them. Which makes me exhausted. It also makes me realize, with apologies to my age-bracket friends who still have little ones, I don’t […]
“We’re supposed to be on the Do Not Call list. Why do they keep calling?” “Who, crazy Aunt Ida and Uncle Iggy?” “No, telemarketers, they drive me crazy!” “Why don’t you write a column about it?” “Good idea honey,” I muttered as I picked the phone up off the floor and searched for the batteries. […]
Feel free to do what I did, Google “Mastitis + Nonlactating” but try not to, like I did, freak out at the dire health possibilities. Except for the 942 results for “Non-Lactating Mastitis in Bovines”. Though I’ve never been a Bovine, it appears those poor cows are hurting just like me. Scared, alone, in pain […]
You’ve heard of, “Do it Yourselfers”? Well I’m from a family of, “Fix it Yourselfers.” Every home project became not just a teachable moment but prime daddy-children bonding time. When I moved out on my own, my trousseau consisted not of family linens but a socket wrench set and basic Craftsman tools. So last week, […]
I firmly believe God created Man and Woman in His likeness—but with distinct, logical differences. Women can give birth. Men are strong enough to hoist those heavy boxes up into the attic. Women, have a superior sense of smell, which, based on life in my household, men do not. Yes, we woman are not only […]
“Thanks Mom,” said my daughter as I handed her a pile of clean laundry. “You’re welcome.” I turned around to fold the Fruit of the Looms but she continued. “Thanks for bringing me into this world, for clean laundry and for helping me through hard times.” And then she was gone. I peered out around […]
“There’s no food in our house. There’s never any food in our house. Who ate all the brownies? I didn’t even get one. When is the next somebody is going to the store? There’s nothing to do today. I’m so bored. Why do I have to clean the kitchen again? I cleaned it yesterday morning. […]
If you want to run with the true powerhouses of the world, look no further than the Girl Scouts. Put down that box of Thin Mints and think about it. How many grocery stores will let you set up a rickety card table outside their doors and sell, cash only, cases of ground beef or […]
Do you remember your first baby? The very first baby that you adopted shortly after taking your marriage vows — the practice baby? Not everyone runs out to get their practice baby — sometimes things come up like, “My husband is allergic.” Practice babies come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors. Ours was […]
“Dear Karen, I’m so happy spring is in the air—I’m even looking forward to spring cleaning! At Home Made Simple this month, we’re enjoying the burst of energy and inspiration—and we hope you are, too. Best Wishes, Julie B.” And so begins another highly personal, newsy email from my overflowing inbox. It was in good […]
My mother says she’s color blind from a lifetime of matching socks. As I celebrate my 24th year of doing Scott Rinehart’s laundry, I now know why. According to my husband’s sock drawer, there are 17 shades of navy blue. Four of those shades belong on over the calf socks while the other thirteen are […]
“When are you going to write about us?” asked the gentleman. I looked up from signing the visa receipt, smiled and said, “Oh I’m mulling it over; believe me.” That was 4 months ago. Now every time I walk in the liquor store and see the friendly men sitting behind the counter I feel guilty […]
Dear editor, I’m so sorry, but I didn’t write a column today. This must come as a shock to you as you are, on a weekly basis without fail, so accustomed to my promptness and professionalism—always amazing you with yet another award-winning piece delivered days before deadline. And believe me, I woke up today with […]
(With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy) • You might be in a cult if — you have a horror of having the number 144,001 stamped on your forehead. • You might be in a cult if — “there is more than one way to skin a cat” is a line from your liturgy. • You might […]
I miss her so much. My youngest child. My only girl. My ally in the house of hormones. Oh, of course I raised her to leave— prepared her for college so she could fly away and pursue her own education, see the world, meet new friends, develop her own life. And I love her school. […]
I hope you’ve read Part I…if not please do before reading Part II. I mean, lest you think I start off all conversations telling you about my toned calves…. 😉 I don’t tire of hearing compliments on my toned legs. Maybe it’s karma or payback but without any deliberate effort on my behalf, I’ve got […]
