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Five Friends a Woman Needs

Recently God brought into my life a woman who I now call “friend.” I spent some time with her recently and as I left I was buoyed by our visit. It got me to thinking how perfectly she fit into my life and reflecting on the question: What sort of friends does a woman “need” in her life?

I know lots of women: the mothers of all the friends of my sons; women with whom I’ve worked and those with whom I’ve worshipped. There are women neighbors and there are women relatives. I’ve been blessed by meeting women at speaking engagements who have touched my heart.

But friends? I have but a few.

I remember once being told that at the end of your life, if you can count on one hand your true friends, you will have been very lucky. I guess that was the secular way of saying you have been very blessed.

At 54 years old, I see that I have been very blessed.

If we’ve got one hand to work off of, I believe these are the five friends each woman needs:

  1. A woman needs a friend with whom she can pray. Not just words over a meal but the sort of prayers that erupt from the depths of the heart and soul.
  2. A woman needs a friend with whom she can laugh. Not just a chuckle but a belly laugh—or better yet, the giggle of a little girl released and loved.
  3. A woman needs a friend with whom she can cry. Not just tears that rim the eyes but the painful cry that seems to have no end yet is met with kindness and compassion.
  4. A woman needs a friend to whom she can expose her weakest self and still be loved. Not just the superficial “I’m not perfect” stuff but the real, true self who has been to the edge and back.
  5. A woman needs a friend for whom no judgment exists. Not just in offering non-judgmental words to a dilemma but someone who simply could not see her friend through any eyes other than the eyes of Christ.

The thing about these five friends is that God gives them to us when we need them, if only we ask. Like my new friend. We may not be on the phone everyday, but somehow I know she is just a phone call away.

There are seasons in which friends come and go. And that’s okay. Each friendship along the road of life offers blessing to our lives and we should treasure them.


Cheryl Dickow is a Catholic wife, mother, author and speaker. Cheryl’s newest book is Miriam: Repentance and Redemption in Rome. It is the sequel to her first fiction book Elizabeth: A Holy Land Pilgrimage. Both are available in paperback, Kindle, or Nook format. Her company is Bezalel Books where her goal is to publish great Catholic books for families and classrooms that entertain while uplifting the Catholic faith and is located at www.BezalelBooks.com. To invite Cheryl to speak at your event, write her at Cheryl@BezalelBooks.com or phone her at 248.917.3865.

 


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  • Karyn

    I’m thinking, “How can I be one of those five friends to someone?”. Thanks.

    • Helena

      Karyn, I think thats really nice of you…

  • Freddie

    A woman ALSO needs a GOOD LAWYER to get rid of an abusive, misogynist, female hating male in her life who tells her she’s ‘worthless’ UNLESS SHE SUBMITS TO THE MALE CHAUVENIST’S AGENDA…………………… including, but NOT limited to– being pregnant/barefoot/dependent on the male chauvenist; NOT having an outside job; BEING OBLIGATED TO ATTEND A RELIGIOUS INSTITUTION THAT insists THAT THE ONLY WAY OF LIFE open TO FEMALES IS EITHER BEING MARRIED AND/OR A NUN……………… THE RELIGIOUS/MISOGYNIST BIGOTRY IS OBVIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:P

    • Mary Kochan

      Well any woman who is in a relgious institution that tells women they have to be barefoot and pg and dependent upon a man and may not have an outside job and may only either be married or a nun should become Catholic, where the dignity of women is respected where celebated women run businesses and countries and huge charitable institions as well as familes and which teaches that a particular woman is the highest of all creation, even the Queen of Angels!

    • http://www.facebook.com/mary.kochan.1 Mary Kochan

      Well any woman who is in a relgious institution that tells women they have to be barefoot and pg and dependent upon a man and may not have an outside job and may only either be married or a nun should become Catholic, where the dignity of women is respected where celebated women run businesses and countries and huge charitable institions as well as familes and which teaches that a particular woman is the highest of all creation, even the Queen of Angels!

  • MariaJC

    The only woman for me that comes close to those 5 categories (and even then, not to any utopian length/extent you suggest) is my earthly mother. To find 5 friends with these qualities is impossible especially in this day and age. Sorry…I know that my comment is hardly uplifting but it is what I feel.

    • Helena

      You took the words right out of my mouth!

  • Kathy

    As I reviewed those 5 types of friends a woman should have, I can’t really recall if I’ve ever had any of them (at least to a serious degree).

    I’ve tried to be there for other women, but usually they already had a friend who filled the roles described above. Maybe it’s my generation or where I live but the women I meet don’t seem to have the time or interest in making friends to this intimate degree.

    Perhaps one day God will allow for this opportunity of deep friendship. For now, despite my best efforts to have and be a genuine friend to another woman is quite absent.

    • Kathy

      Oops, I meant the women I’ve met don’t seem to have the time or interest. I’ve had the interest but it wasn’t reciprocated.

      Sorry about the poor editing of my comment.

    • helena

      I think some times, women are scared to trust. I know I am!

    • Helena

      Where have you been all my life?

  • Lydia

    Cheryl, your book with Teresa Tomeo, Wrapped Up: Gods Ten Gifts for Women was great, especially about friendship and forgiveness. What a great Christmas Gift that will be for some of the women in my life.