Question: Hi Mary! I’m 16, and discerning. At the moment, I feel God wants me as a sister, but I’m still unsure. There’s a guy I know who has expressed his interest in me, and I feel the same way. I’ve asked several people if it would be wrong to date if I felt drawn […]
I don’t really like abstinence. Wait. What? I certainly think restraint is valuable–I resist the kind of trips where you go to Target for two things and come out with ten. I try not to eat meat on Fridays. I teach Natural Family Planning (NFP). In some cases, however, particularly the case of sexuality, abstinence […]
More often than not in life we remember criticisms more than we remember compliments. When someone asks me to recall the last time I received a compliment it takes me at least twice as long to recall than if someone asked me to regurgitate the last insult or criticism thrown my way. Chances are that […]
A male reader of my post “This Modern Love” wrote an aside of how “man conquers woman” in the courtship process. He gave a personal example and said that though he did all the right things (e.g. gave her flowers, wrote her letters), he did not win her heart. He also wrote that, at one […]
Each of the sorrowful mysteries relates to what it is like to be in a relationship, what relationships call us to, and how to unite ourselves more deeply to Christ. For the purposes of this particular post “relationship” is limited to the context of dating and courting. Agony in the Garden My “agony in the […]
The following are actual questions from real women who have concerns about their boyfriends and other women. My boyfriend works in an office with some really beautiful women. I can’t imagine why he hasn’t fallen for one of them. I don’t know how much longer I can stand it. He knows I’m uncomfortable with it […]
To pursue, or to be pursued? That is the question. ‘Tis nobler in the mind to date until your breath is taken, or heart is broken… Dating – in the man-meets-woman, man-asks-woman-out way**- may sound outdated to those more liberated in their feelings. Instead, people get to know each other by hanging out and never […]
While getting my hair done recently, I flipped through one of those magazines I’d never buy but enjoy as a guilty pleasure every now and then. One page in particular caught my attention—a list of what’s currently “in” and “out.” I was pleasantly surprised to see that indoor dates are “out” while dates in the […]
Have you ever had someone tell you to get over it when you’re expressing the pain of a failed relationship? It’s not easy to get over it. Whatever “it” is, you have been affected, and you can’t control your feelings or your memories. In your mind, you wonder how you are supposed to get over […]
I sat in my seat in a circle of students in my counseling theories class. Pen in hand and a self-inventory worksheet on top of a book on my lap, I thought about the question at the top of the paper: What did you learn about love from how your parents treated you? This is […]
I’ve written about Catholic dating for about five years now and also coach women one-on-one to get to ‘I Do.’ From day one, my approach was a little different because I’m a no-bones-about-it realist. We Catholics love to cling to our ideals! We aren’t always interested in how things are, and prefer to focus on […]
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” – Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” – NLT “With closest custody, guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life” – NAB “Keep your heart with all vigilance, […]
Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, while the desire for marriage is rising among young women, according to the Pew Research Center. Pew recently found that the number of women 18-34 saying that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things rose from 28 percent to […]
I have suspected for a while now that there is little clarity in our culture regarding the goal of chastity. This is probably in part because there is little clarity regarding the difference between abstinence (which ends at marriage) and chastity (which never ends). But it is also probably in part because chastity contradicts the […]
…from a distance it looks like it could be interesting, but up close, it’s just a ton of crap you don’t need. These are the words from something I found on Pinterest, minus the profanity (though you have to admit, it’s the right choice of word). I laughed, of course, at first because I can […]
Dear Anthony, I have gotten very serious recently with a man I met on Ave Maria Singles. My only reservation so far is that I have never heard him say he is sorry for anything. I seem to be the only one who has to be sorry for things. If I try to tell him […]
Like most women in my post-feminist generation, I grew up knowing exactly what I did not want when it came to love and work. I did not want to sacrifice my personal life at the altar of the all-consuming career. Nor did I want to surrender professional success in a fit of passion or panic […]
Dear Anthony, My pastor is skeptical that long distance relationships can have the personal and practical growth to move toward marriage. My fiance lives in California, and I’m in Canada. He first wrote me on AMS nine months ago. We met the first time two months ago. A month ago I flew to California for […]
For the average practicing Catholic, dating can be really fun. After all, you’re young, ready to discern marriage, and maybe even ready to start a family of your own. But when it comes to the questions of dating non-Catholics, a lot of questions begin to surface. What are their opinions about the teachings of the […]
Dear Anthony, The way you speak about marriage, I think I can say I have never seen it in anyone’s marriage, least of all my parents. All my family’s marriages were bad, unhappy. So, how can I expect to be happy? And please do not mention God! Sadness is the key to being truly happy. […]
There is nothing quite like being in love and sharing a loving relationship. You often hear about finding “true love,” but we seldom stop to think about what that means. To consider this properly, you need to know a little something about true love. What makes it true? There is much to say about true […]
Would the type of person you are praying to meet and fall in love with find you attractive? When and if it should happen that you meet someone special, fall in love, and get married, the process starts with you. This is the premise of my first book, Would You Date You? I appeared on […]
I’ve been a parent for a long time now, and I have heard many, many parents — in real life, in print, and on television — talk about their ultimate hopes for their children: “I just want my child to be happy.” “I want my child to be successful.” “I want my child to have […]
No, that isn’t one of my misleading provocative titles. I’m not going to be all clever and then reveal that I, like every woman my age, think Darcy is just the most wonderful thing ever. He’s not. He’s kind of awful. If you haven’t read Pride and Prejudice–or at least seen the BBC movie–you might […]
