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You Might Be in a Cult If…

by on Feb 12, 2011 in Humor
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(With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

• You might be in a cult if — you have a horror of having the number 144,001 stamped on your forehead.

• You might be in a cult if — “there is more than one way to skin a cat” is a line from your liturgy.

• You might be in a cult if — discipling leaves no visible marks.

• You might be in a cult if — AK47s are standard issue for ushers.

• You might be in a cult if — more than 50% of the books in your house are from one publisher.

• You might be in a cult if — Armageddon figures prominently in your estate planning.

• You might be in a cult if — tea and cola are not allowed, but Kool-Aid is ok.

• You might be in a cult if — you shaved the face of Ultimate Reality this morning.

• You might be in a cult if — your sacred scriptures are found in the Science Fiction section of the bookstore.

• You might be in a cult if — God could be…oh, just about anybody.

Submissions for future editions of You Might Be in a Cult If… accepted, but don’t expect a calendar deal.

(© 2011 Mary Kochan)


Mary Kochan, former Senior Editor of CatholicExchange, is Editor-at-Large  of CatholicLane.com.

Raised as a  third-generation Jehovah's Witness, Mary worked her way backwards through the Protestant Reformation to enter the Catholic Church on Trinity Sunday, 1996.  Mary has spoken in many settings, to groups large and small, on the topic of destructive cultism and has been a guest on both local and national radio programs. To arrange for Mary to speak at your event, you may contact her at kochanmar@gmail.com.
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